If its not one thing, its your MOTHER!!!!

Mothers are suppost to be protective, loving no matter what, always there for you, role models, the type of women you want to marry, good, honest but most of all, just your plain old Mum you can count on and call on at all times??????

That’s the theory but me that ain’t true. Don’t get me wrong but my Mums a little unique but then you should have already guest that from my antics so far? Had to get it from someone 🙂  🙂 

I hope one day that my Mum does get to read this blog and not get upset by what I document here about her? Its a chance I am ready to take.

Mum is and always has been slightly deluded 🙂  bless her.

She is animal mad and from a very early age we had a house full of dogs. They consisted of snappy poodles to German shephards and more than once in the past she told us with great pride she “loved her dogs more than us kids”!!! Hard to hear when your young and just wanting to be loved.

In the years that have passed, dogs have come and gone, some with a tragic end and great periods of morning have taken place, tears and great bouts of depression by Mum. There was Sally the black poodle who was run over at a caravan site. Picture the scene, the dogs dead, Mums holding it in her arms and the heads lolling to one side, tongue hanging out and blood dripping out of its mouth. Mum is wailing like a banshee and her four small kids are looking on in disbelieve. Forgive me, I know its tragic but Mum goes into morning and with The Commodores track, once, twice three times a lady on repeat its a little much to deal with.

There have been other dogs who have passed and Mums gone into morning again. Judy the German shephard who was put to sleep the day before my 18th I think? Oh boy was my birthday dinner as hoot!!!! NOT, Mum is crying into her soup in a packed gaff. Happy birthday to me. On a plus note I liked Judy the best of all dogs. Years later my baby bro who resides in Thailand found an old filmed video of us kids and Judy  and in the back ground The Dads ranting and shouting at us kids and dog which was normal. His nick name was Sergeant Major, only had two volumes, loud and even BLOODY  LOUDER!!!!  It was so funny to watch back and we nearly wet ourselfs laughing. Oh the good old days, its so quiet now! Shushhhhhhhhh

Mum seem to find the elixia to eternal youth because she never seemed to get older with birthdays. It was only when she reached 70 that we knewn exactly how old she was? A party was held but don’t think Mum was happy, we had a good time ta.

Years ago Mum finally gets a divorce from The Dad, its been on the cards but the deciding factor was a girly holiday for Mum and her friends in Turkey! In the 80’s there was a film called Shirley Valentine about a board housewife who takes herself off abroad alone, meets a local, falls in love, has a bit of fun in her later life and then her husband comes to get her. Not a bad flick but my Mum being unique makes it a different ending!  She only gets
involved with a Turkish waiter in his teens!!!!!!! Yuck, yuck yuck.  Comes back to the UK, neck covered in hickies and tells The Dad she wants a divorce and beggers off to live in Turkey! There have been several Turks since then, some she married but she never returned back to the UK apart from the odd visit. The latest husband is 8 years younger than her youngest son!!!! I call her a sex pest but others say good on her?  Imagine it being your MUM?????  Got ya thinking about it now haven’t I?????

Latest one she weds on Valentines day!  Romantic I hear you cry? Yep very lovely but what she forgets to tell us, he’s just out of a Turkish nick and its April before we know??? Oh Mother, your a card! I get told off for asking if she thinks she’s Za Za Gabor and to keep quiet if I haven’t a nice word to say, 4 years later I am still quiet 🙂 

Get this, new hubby has the cheek to send me a message on skype telling me he loves me and he’s my new father!!!!!!! ARRRRRRRR get a grip sunshine, been alive a few more years than you and no you aint my new Daddy!!!!!!

You gotta love her really as she certainly makes the most of life and always good for a joke or two?

Its amusing watching older folks trying to get to grips with new tech gadgets. Mum shouted in CAPITALS when she first got a mobile and sent texts. The best was she needed a hearing aid, refused to wear it and then started to shout into the computer on skype talking to her dogs in another country!!!! Oh boy that had me rolling with laughter. Who bloody talks to animals on skype????

So if it ain’t one thing its my Mother! 🙂 


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