Choo choo ca chew Mrs Robinson aka Miss Salt.

Gym membership was finally purchased on Friday a few days later than wanted, due to waking up a week ago with a stinking cold! Now what amazes me , with modern science, is why there is still no cure for colds? I have looked  and felt horrendous all week with streaming eyes and Rudolf red hooter  but on the plus side, I have been eating less and drinking less alcohol so I hope the spanx won’t be around for too long…….  Gym session later.

My realization that as April comes to an end, this is hopefully, going to be my last in the UK? Glad to be on countdown as I was insulted by the two people I work along side this week, one informs me “your not the same person on a Monday morning and forget everything you learnt the week before”. To which my reply was” pardon me but I have slept, drank and ate since I was last here”.  Person two, insulted me by saying “you are forgetful and stupid”, again my reply was “excuse me, I am menopausal and not youthful as I use to be”!!!!!! 
What I have not mentioned is:
1) I have only been with the company 4 months and been in Japan for one month, so officially I have been there three months.
2) Although taken on for one role, I have been put into two job roles and having to learn two sets of processes. 
3) At 6 weeks into the  two roles, redundancies were announced across the board, so not sure how long I have a job? Not making me feel secure.
4) Both people think they are infallible  and the company would collapse without them. Get a grip, no one is that great and shut up you martyr!
5) Don’t really give a f**k anymore and only there for the money.   Been in too many jobs now that didn’t work out and know there is better out there for me……

DD and I have been on count down for the weekend in Portsmouth. She has finally hired a gardener along side her cleaner and ironing lady so between us we are defo ladies with hired help…. I make no secret about having a cleaner and gardener. I confess to NOT being a domestic goddess, can’t cook don’t cook, hate housework and don’t get me started on gardening????? I become a docker with tourettes, the air is very blue, just hate gardening……
I can look like a 1950’s housewife but that’s where it all ends. In both DD’s and my defense, we both earn enough to pay these people and why  break a nail and into a sweat, if we don’t have too?

Getting closer to another birthday and sharing it with my nephew who will be 9 years old, got me thinking about what to do to celebrate the day?Its decided to take a small road trip, me, DD and little man are off to Harry Potter in Watford…..  If its good enough for Kate, Wills and Harry, well, its good enough for us!

2013’s diary is getting full as as I already have a  few weekends away with DD and the vintage crew booked. Additionally, I am also being taken away by a younger male friend to a fabbie hotel in the big smoke soon. There is the promise of fine wine, free mucky movies and maybe finding my mojo……… just being in the company of a handsome gent for a night away would make this old gal happy! Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of male friends, all whom I adore, love and get cuddles and kisses off  but I do have two younger men who are in my life and have been here for a while but due to distance, careers and just life in general, we don’t see each other that much. So here’s to you Mrs Robinson aka Miss Salt, go have a fun time…………..


Is this my 7th Gin and Tonic?


Darling Dottie (DD) and I have been best friends for a great few years. As my bessie mate we have been though a great deal of sad times and fun times together and about to embark on another adventure next week to one of our favourite haunts, Portsmouth. Watch out sailor boys, the gals are back in town….

DD is a twin set and pearl gal and one who has my back at all times. Over the years, I have been the miscievous one in our relationship but now I have passed my mantle to her and she is running with it very nicely………

I would be lost without my rock aka DD and there are many adventures that can be told and some that can’t??……… 

To spare DD any blushes and embarrassment, I will run by her my thoughts for blogs about our journeys and get back to you on them?

For now, we will start packing our cases in readiness of our trip to Pompy next week and will report back on our antics as and when they happen?

As DD once asked, ” is this my 7th gin and tonic” and my reply, ” I have only just arrived, no idea”???…….

Love ya DD and roll on next weekend for another adventure and whoo whooing at sailors, soldiers and men in uniforms………………..

Bring it on……..

Once upon a time……………………


Let me introduce you? This handsome guy was Mr Richard David  Salt,  Aka Sam Salt. my hubby, best friend, man who gave me my name, sanity and the greatest love a girl could get?

For now I will jump a head in time to 28th January 2005, 8.30pm on a Friday night, my darling Sam took his last breath and died in my arms after a very quick battle with cancer. He was just 32 and the bravest man I have ever met?

We met on a very cold November night in a night club in Bolton and three days later agreed to marry each other…… He was serving as a chef in the Royal Navy and the remaining years we had together were the best..

I became a Navy wife and moved away from the North to the South and found my real self. With Sam, I never had to be anything other than me  and he never asked any thing of me apart from my love and loyalty.

When I say we met in a night club now this is true but to this day, I still can’t tell you how we met or who spoke first?…… I was out with a male friend and should have been in another town and Sam was on a ships run a shore very drunk minus his glasses and not in the mood to be in a club with a bunch of sailors.  All I do remember is being on the dance floor with this handsome young man and then spending the entire night with him before driving him back to his ship in Liverpool. From that moment on the dance floor there was a Sam and Nikki…

They say you sometimes never meet your true love but for me, I  had not only met my soul mate but my best friend all rolled into one.  There isn’t a day goes by in the 8 and half years since Sam left this earth, that I don’t think about him and even now he travels with me on all my journeys and see’s the world with me. When he was at sea, he use to say ” I see everything for you with my eyes” and now his ashes travel with me and I leave him in all the lovely places I visit. Some may say its weird that his ashes have a shrine in my bedroom but for me as a Buddhist, its a very normal thing.

What made Sam so special? Well, he was the gayest straight guy I ever knew lol……. but seriously, he was a one in a million, must have been to not only marry me but put up with my antics. Even join in now and again.

Between us we travelled the world, I became a ships stalker, always turning up port side and dragging the boys from the mess off drinking!!!! Bad Miss Salt.

In the 12 years we had together, we only argued twice and never really lived together so every time we were in each others company, it was like a honeymoon.

My darling Sam is now on a very high pedestal, Peter Pan like and a legend in my eyes and memories. Don’t get me wrong, he did do things that I disagreed with but as of now they are far distant memory.  

I am grateful for my time with him, even short as it was, as its set me up to become a better and more peaceful person, and my life, and that of friends who knew him, have been enriched  from just knowing him.

Where ever he is now and whatever form he is taking, I hope he is giving as much love to the people around him as he gave to me.

There are many more tails to be told about our life together but that’s a few blogs for another time?

I raise my glass to Mr Sam Salt and thank him with all that I am for making me the women I am today.

Love you Sam Salt and always will. You were the other half of a circle that made me whole. ….. You were my mirror…….


Spanx alot.

20th April 2013, been back from Japan one week and I have not stopped eating? It was ok to eat like this in Japan as I was walking a great deal but being back in Blighty, I am now sat on my getting LARGER behind.

Its become so bad I went out and bought Spanx under ware…….. I also took drastic action and had my hair cut, well it was down to my waist and far to long and heavy to do anything with it, Big mistake I have made is having my fringe cut WAY too short. Now I resemble Dave Hill from the group Slade from the 70’s, big hit only at Christmas, yep I look like that…. Oh well it will grow back. Oh and no, I won’t be posting any piccys of said fringe thank you.

Now as some of you know from reading my blog, I am menopausal and one of the side effects is weight gain in the belly area. A few years back, I had a very tidy figure and proud to show it off in my adventures as a burlesque belle but now I resemble more of Mrs Michelin with a kiddy’s swimming rubber ring minus the duck head for a belly. Its my own fault as well for not hitting the gym and also being fond of a drinkey pooh at the end of a day. So tomorrow being a new week and there being an offer on at the gym across from my work I will be getting myself and my excess fat back into the gym, trying not to eat too much and also cutting down on the old Vino collapsoooo. I will let you know how I get on as the weeks go by but won’t report on any weight loss as I am a firm believer in not weighing myself, as its far too depressing….. Will judge progress by my clothes.

Back to Spanx, its function is to slim down your waist, firm up buttocks and thighs and overall make you look thinner in all the right places but for me it’s just made it all smooth and more like a balloon effect than Marilyn Monroe. As I have gotten this big again, its time I took action and got slimmer. I have battled with my weight since being a little girl and have gone from a size 10 to size 18/20 over the years but now in my later life, want to get back to a comfy size 12 again. I certainly don’t want to be fat at 50, more like fabulous at 50……….

For now, I will wear my new spanx purchases until I am smaller, fitter and firmer but feel grateful for not having a man in my life.. Can you imagine the surprise these days for men, what with all the false eyelashes, chicken fillets, and suck it in push it out spanx????? What must they think when getting a lady naked unless they are wearing male spanx and then its a surprise for both parties …………….