The gangster squad brings a night of decedent Hollywood glamour. Tickets are £15.00 from paypal firstname.lastname@example.org send for an invoice or email on email@example.com and I will send one to you.
I will be performing as Carmen Miranda. A one off performance. Get your tickets early for a night to remember.
In an effort to try and keep young, I am now resorting to putting snail snot on my face and neck….. Ok I can be easily swayed into beauty creams, lotions and potions and have been known to spend hundreds of pounds thinking this cream will be the one!
Even had an appointment to see about a face lift and told to do one by the surgeon…
Now I know that for my age I do have good skin but that’s all down to having a gay uncle who gave me antiwrinkle cream from the age of 13 and staying out of the sun. Now the down fall to staying out of the sun and wearing factor 50 is that I now am now depleted of Vitamin D but hey ho its a small thing.
Youth is so wasted on the young and boy do I wish I was still firm of buttock and less like a melted waxwork. Gravity is defo moving things down south and to east and west! Yes, I know I could hit the gym,diet more, drink less falling over juice but I have to have some pleasures in life!
Things not reported in Cosmopolitan, womens weekly or any other female publications is what happens to your body when you get to a certain age! Gray hairs not only on my head but also my eyebrows and when my lady garden grows, it resembles a badger down there! Also hair seems to appear from bits of your face and doesn’t grow at a normal rate, bang, you wake up and a bloody hair is waving at you.
For now its an ongoing day to day battle with the aging process but with the help of hopefully my new snail snot gel, I should be able to stay youthful for a bit longer….. now I wonder if I can squeeze a few garden snails?????