In a land far far away! Real love and romance is for Hollywood and fairy tales only!

Where are all the knights in shinning armour  where are all the princesses and queens?

Today, more than most days, I am surrounded by broken hearts and hopeful date’ees waiting to find love and happiness.

There are a multitude of sites out there offering love and companionship, yet in reality, its web cam chats and dirty talks behind computer screens with no intentions of meeting.

Now a million poets pen ditties of lost or unrequited love  but who are these poets and where is all this written love and desire they write about?

Do we want for too much theses days or are we aiming too high. We settle for a little attention off anyone rather than being strong but who wants to wait forever for the touch of another. There are no morals or monogamy any more,  people stray instead of fixing their problems or cutting ties and making fresh starts. We are all guilty of loving too much, not loving enough, getting complacent, ignoring responses for hope of  better ones. Sometimes we walk past without notice or swipe left instead of right for a prettier or more handsome face when deep down we are all looking for that special someone to make us feel great and wanted.

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So as people prepare for that first date with hope and anticipation or others go home and cry into Ben and Jerry’s while watching a sad movie, I am told there are plenty of fish in the sea or hear of having to  kiss frogs, (lots of them) but when I was younger kissing frogs lead to warts, so no thanks.

Luke Skywalker (the hamster) RIP

Today in the office, my work chum, told me her partner had killed her two gold fish, Harry and Paul last night, by accident of course!

This then reminded me of a time I was babysitting for my nephews, now must stop here and let you know, I am good at caring for little uns but do have a habit of disasters when looking after our kids (sister) little uns! One time, we had a waterfall in the kitchen and unable to locate the stopcock, had to call her at bingo and get her to return home. Not my fault, two big uns were messing in the bath upstairs!

Round two of babysitting, two of the wee ones, A and W were at home and A had just got a very cute dwarf hamster (name of new said hamster escapes me right now) but W had an old not so cute, slightly fatter hamster called Luke Skywalker. W was going through a star wars phase so every pet had a star wars name.

Now A and W are playing with new cute hamster and W tells me, Luke has a new cage, go look at it!

Off I toddle to find Luke has wedged himself between the bars and food holder with a broken back and thrashing around in agony! W then spots broke back Luke and starts to scream the house down. Here we go again, another bad baby sitting episode.

My only option is to cut luke out of the bars with a hack saw which had to be gotten from my boss who lived down the road. I had to send off poor W and A to go and explain why I needed a hack saw off my boss at gone 8pm at night!

Now being Buddhist,  killing anything is against my nature but seeing this poor creature in pain and agony, I had to man up and step up to the mark.  So here I was with crying little uns, trying to hack saw a poor hamster out of its cage like I was a magician cutting his assistant in half. Ta Darrr , Luke is free but still alive, next option put the poor beast out of its misery, I try to smother it by putting my fingers over it nose and mouth. Nope that didn’t work so in desperation, I put it in a Tupperware box with seal tight lid hoping it will suffocate.  In theory, its a good call but it takes ages to die and when it finally does, Sis and Hubby are home, kids are now crying again. W wants a funeral for Luke so we have to dig a hole in the garden, bury him and say a few words. Nice gesture but once W is back inside, our kid tells me, dig  it up as the cat from next door will get and and oh do I want it for my snake? Yes, I had scarlet the snake, a living prop in my burlesque act, who hated anything but white mice and Luke was multicoloured, I refused on these grounds and also that in years to come, had W found out I fed Luke to a snake, he may hate me or be scared for life.

Another successful NOT, babysitting evening completed but to add to my pain, Monday morning, my boss greeted me with “morning hamster killer”! Doh…………..

Welcome to the Bunny Palace of Buckinghamshire, or as it should be called, House of Gals!

Been a while since I last wrote a blog, 8 months to be precise!

Thailand has been and gone, that was a great adventure and one I want to write about but that’s for another time.

Back to Blighty in April, I came, with no plans of work or forward planning and whoosh back in full time work with a bread company before I know it. Now me being me, a wanderer with a purpose, I only want a 6 month contract as my inner Gypsy is itching to get back out travelling again but my bank manager and lack of funds dictate different. Maybe it was time for me to have a bit of good luck on the work front after the four years of complete tossers and judgemental people I had worked with but here I was thrown into a group of like minded, perverted, didn’t give a flying fook payroll people, whom accepted this vintage gal with open arms.

Originally based in Manchester and now relocated to the south, my new work adventures begin!

Having lived in a posh hotel for several months, all expenses paid , it time to move out and find a new gaff! Being on the commuter belt of that there London Town, rents are more than I ever paid for a mortgage and I am resorting to living in a house share. Now for those of you who know me well, sharing isn’t in my vocabulary or nature.  Off I pop to go view houses and within minutes of being shown around, I expect to become a statistic, murdered in my bed at night, wrapped in black bin bags and under a patio before the sun’s up! That was apparent at various houses, where live in (Dirty old men) landlords rubbed there thighs and licked there lips on opening the front door.

NEXT.

After lots of messages and web engine searches, I have come across a place filled to the rafters with professional gals, each has own bathroom, thank goodness, (another thing I don’t share) great landlord and in a nice area,

D Day approaches and glad to not have to live out of a car and transport my smalls and wears about the country like a vagabond any more, I move in, never having even seen any of them, I was a tad bit worried at what I had signed up for!

I shouldn’t have worried as they have turned out to be a grand bunch of Gals, a PE teacher with great legs, Politician, extremely attractive health worker, secretary and me the Oldest gal of the bunch!  Coming home at nights and being greeted by people and sitting around a table eating dinner is also a new concept for me. So far so good and loving the sisterhood. Each one cooks and cleans after themselves as well as (another bug bear for me is a dirty kitchen. Gosh I sound like a grumpy old lady). I have managed to get my part of the house looking like a pin up boudoir and apart form one of the gals coming in drunk at 3.30am this morning and banging and crashing around, alls going great.  One last thing i have to worry about is, lets see what happens when there are boyfriends and male suitors staying over! Ear plugs at the ready, me thinks???

Works great, as said before,  the peeps I work with are nuts like me and being the only Northerner  in the pack, lots of jokes and piss taking out of my accent and northern ways but (here goes, a bread reference) I will rise above it!

So here we go again, another adventure in another town for me. How long it will last, who knows but as always, I am going with the flow and letting life happen.

#livingthedream #newadventures #newpostcode #newlife