Mr Clit-ling. Sexceedingly good cakes, or pies in this case.

In the Royal Navy as I am sure on civvy street, there is a saying,” any holes a goal”.

This leads me onto an interesting telephone conversation I had with my beau, whom I will call for blog purposes, MR C-L. (As many of my avid blog readers are aware, I like to be discreet with my lovers, hence code names).

Our telephone conversations range from serenading (made up, Peter Kay, Style worded songs), crazy accents, total random shit to the most bizarre conversation last night about making love to an Apple Pie! Now I must add here, it was him making love to the apple pie, not me!

Having tons of male friends, who can be icky at times, this is the first time I have ever been informed of this but being inquisitive as I am, we continue with the following observations:

A safe guide to pie love making:

  • Apple pie and its inner consistency, seems to be the main choice but other fillings are available.
  • Check your fruit filling as there maybe pits and stones to contend with.
  • Pastry, always go for a short crust variety as flaky, filo or puff may be unsuitable.
  • Never a hard pumpkin pie or even a meat variety. That’s just wrong lol!!!
  • Crumble could be an option; if no fruit based pies are available but do watch out for the crumble? Maybe think about going in sideways.
  • Egg custards could be good but only if a nutmeg, cinnamon topping.
  • Rhubarb, too stringy.
  • Pies with gravy, might wanna give them a miss! To moist, although us Northerners love owt moist, in this case, caution is advised.
  • And last but not least, a traditional Cornish pasty. Try the end with fruit not meat and veg.

 

And here is the health and safety part:

  • Always check the temperature of the pie with your finger and for the love of god, never a McDonalds’ apple pie, unless you want to suffer third degree burns on your wee man!

 

 

 

 

Now on another strange conversation, while at lunch today, Mr IT, our work mate, on the recent death of Prince (may you fly with Doves), added that rumour has it, that Prince had ribs removed to pleasure himself!

This then ended up in him adding that, if you get in the bath sideways, it’s all very doable?

Just to clarify, all the males in my life are very dodgy and weird but I does love em all!

 

 

Footnote from Mr C-L

This may grow into a whole afternoon of sexy cakes judged by those who deem to call themselves “cake Judges”

Or those whom are seen only in the summer months at garden fates

Usually of the “larger” size lady, mind you that brings in a whole new ball game as the larger lady is known to many men as King Arthur!! – As they Camalot

So to put it into a nutshell King Arthur judging the man cake!!

 

 

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Extremely Rare And Fascinating Photos Of The Last Samurai From 1800s

You’re about to see some extremely rare portraits of the very last samurai dating back to the 1800s. The samurai had ruled feudal Japan for around 700 years at the time. So who exactly where they? Essentially they were the military arm of the nobility of the day. They were all trained in milita…

Source: Extremely Rare And Fascinating Photos Of The Last Samurai From 1800s

For once it’s them not us!

The maddening plight of being a sexually voracious woman

This article caught my eye this morning and is a very interesting  read.

In the past i have have felt cursed in my  feelings  towards sex and my desires. A high sex drive has caused me to feel unusual and to quote a saying ” not normal”!

It’s true men are supposed to feel this way but women are not,   in my experiences,  it’s always been the other way round!

As I get older and meet more independent  women whom are equally  independent  and single, we all desire more sex than our male counterparts and as men grow older, they become sexually lazy.

I sometimes blame wives for this trend in lazy men,  but I shouldn’t as who wants to eat the same meal everyday for ever ? I believe  spice, excitement and variety is the key. Never grow complacent or stayed in your approach to sex. 

I am surrounded by women whom have the same urges and desires as myself. So from now on ladies, you know who you are,  don’t feel like it’s us not them, because in truth,  it is them.